So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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