You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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