spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
