Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
