Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
