that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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