If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
