i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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