There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
