I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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