they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
