worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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