Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just threw up on my dentist
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
