am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize