just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
