It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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