i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
