And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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