My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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