you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
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had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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