if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
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There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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