We won't sleep together?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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