spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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