everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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