so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize
