I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
