Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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