Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize