If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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