I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
