Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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