rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
