shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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