So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
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