also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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