if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
