who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
