Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
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