the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
