Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
