please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
how does that bad decision feel?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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