So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I can't turn off my feet"
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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