last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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