Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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