You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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