how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
