no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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