My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize