Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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