I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
