He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
