I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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