Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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