You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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