vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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