Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
