What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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