I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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