Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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