Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
