So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
