Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You ruined the universe
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
