3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
