this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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